I Want My Friends Back By My Side!

2009-09-22T22:14:00.000-07:00

Finally someone put me in their eye. Know that i'm there. Know that i do exist.

22/09/2009

2009-09-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

Lol? No one appreciate what i did, not even to see what i did. from today onward, no more mr nice guy. =) Why am i there to care so much for? Care so much what i get in return? Hurt? Sad? Moody? yeah all together. I'm glad I realised that earlier, best friends? are just sweet words. nothing is true. =]

21/09/2009

2009-09-21T08:04:00.000-07:00

Today it is a tough to go through, having a tournament at school, won by 49 marks over a team. Tough day tough day, exhausted, totally tired. Came back online now, saw someone's blog, moody moody moody, hoping to have a better friends, hoping to have someone when i'm lonely, hoping here hoping there. =) met good friends here. always appreciate them. Moody, exhausted, loveless...

Moody words are down here at 11:08

19/09/2009

2009-09-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

Things getting nasty now, feeling what am i going to do this holiday? Hmm.. should i just continue what am i suppose to do and let go all sad things, or just be who i really want to be? Hmmm.. thinking through the night, life is tough for me right now, now the night is only the time for me to take a deep breath and make my moody better, still finding ways of making my mind busy, playing games is a good way, but this way will are just temporary maybe for 1 or 2 hours? play basketball is kinda good idea too, while playing for me is just one thought, how to get points.. xD it's really care free there. Now, i don't know what to do, every holidays there is sure something to happen, bad, i should before i act, well, going to plan a gathering too, for those 6m and 6u primary school students, good right? everyone is invite. =) 2:30am in the morning, still awake, received sad msgs just now, don't know what to do or say, just follow what words my mind appears, bad isn't it? My mind was damn blank. Shit myself, even just simple convince words also cant say anything. She apologise for her irresponsible act, but for me, it's over. Those feeling are way gone forever, now i just will appreciate those friends around me, the only thing i can do is to maintain what am i having now, although i have lost more then gaining this fking year!! grrrr hate this year, This year isn't me, isn't what am i suppose to be! Should have serious to many things around me, now i had lost so much then i regretted and it is already too late.

Words are down at

2:39am

Hoping to change to a better person in life.

Hoping my friends are back by my side.

Hoping to maintain everything now.

Appreciating my friends around me.

Do what i am suppose to do. Now! Sleep. xD

And i'm only allowed to WAIT for her to act. T.T

Friends and Darlings, i love you all. =)

V.

2009-09-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

You were jealous why dont you tell? wtf? Sorry is my fault, you didnt tell tell him that you care about that thing, why don't you tell? Why you keep everything to yourself? We are brothers, and you promised me that you express everything, now what? Losing so many things at a time. You think that feels good? NO, Totally not k... ==

This is what i always wished for..

2009-09-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

Take a breath i pul my self togehter
Just another step until I reach the door.
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you..
I wish that I could tell you something to take it all away.

Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know.
I won't give up 'til it's over.
If it takes you forever, I want you to know..

When I hear your voice,
It's drowning in the whispers.
It's just skin and bones,
There's nothing left to take.
And no matter what I do,
I can't make you feel better.
If only I could find the answer to help me understand..

Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know.
I won't give up 'til it's over.
If it takes you forever, I want you to know that..

If you fall, stumble down, I'll pick you up off the ground.
If you lose faith in you, I'll give you strength to pull through.
Tell me you won't give up,
'Cause I'll be waiting if you fall.
You know I'll be there for you.

If only I could find the answer to take it all away..

Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know.
I won't give up 'til it's over.
If it takes you forever, I want you to know..

I wish I could save you..
I want you to know..
I wish I could save you..

This song, for a friend. =[

2009-09-15T08:03:00.000-07:00

If the hero never comes to you
If you need someone you're feeling blue
If you're away from love and you're alone
If you call your friends and nobody's home
You can run away but you can't hide
Through a storm and through a lonely night
Then I show you there's a destiny
The best things in life
They're free

But if you wanna cry
Cry on my shoulder
If you need someone who cares for you
If you're feeling sad your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

If your sky is grey oh let me know
There's a place in heaven where we'll go
If heaven is a million years away
Oh just call me and I make your day
When the nights are getting cold and blue
When the days are getting hard for you
I will always stay here by your side
I promise you I'll never hide

But if you wanna cry
Cry on my shoulder
If you need someone who cares for you
If you're feeling sad your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

But if you wanna cry
Cry on my shoulder
If you need someone who cares for you
If you're feeling sad your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

What real love can do
What love can do
What real love can do
What love can do
What real love can do
What love can do

Trying to Forget?

2009-09-13T07:20:00.000-07:00

Can i forgot what happen? They keep coming to my mind, cant stop thinking of them, all ! This year i lost too many things, serious in doing things, friends, everything, hate myself? Definitely. Who will be myself to break through all this? Who?!

Only To W.A.I.T for her

But this friendship is seriously broken up

last msg received 4th sep,

then never anymore.

To : Xxxxxa ( sorry, put all the blame on me! )

2009-09-10T07:52:00.000-07:00

I know why people keep going away from me, i know why people think negative on me, i know why friends keep going away from me, i know everything now. thanks a kind person, would willing to tell me everything, my problems, and telling me why all these is happening. Who will willing to be friends who is always act so clever that he thinks that he know someone well while this isn't true, then let her found out, let her upset, let her down, let this friendship just faded away, Who will so willing make friends with someone irresponsible? Who will so willing to make friends with someone who is not taking things seriously? Who will so willing to make friends with someone who is always that to act that he is clever, over too confidence, over too clever while he is not? Right? Right? Right?!!! What still can i do to heal all these back? Think it simple? NO WAY !!! How could still i ask my friends to come back? HOW???!!! Who is there to help me? NO ONE! THERE IS ONLY YOURSELF!!! No one is there for you, Max, you have to eventually wake up now, wake up and realised that you have more losts then what you gain now!!! Things are different now! WAKE UP! Xxxxxa Sorry for me to know it now. I know i don't deserve good friends, sorry, put the blame on me, i couldn't be a better friend, sorry put all the blane on me, i couldn't be more mature, i couldn't make the person you have expect what am i to be, sorry put the blame on me, i couldn't be a good friend that you expect, sorry put the blame one me, i couldn't understand you well, sorry put the blame one me, i always thought that i know you well, but now only i know that i'm not, i realised it now. Sorry put all the blame one me! Sorry! Sorry! Can i stop losing friends? CAN I? PLEASE! Who is there to share things with me? WHO???? I want to appreciate you, i need you, i love you, i want you, as a friend, pls dont go away from me, Xxxxxa, SORRY

07/09/2009

2009-09-07T07:26:00.000-07:00

Horoscope said that today someone wrote something sweet to me? haaa..?

You need help =)

2009-09-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

Can i help?

I just wanted to help.
I do hope everythings back to normal =)

i want you to be happy,

happy to live in this world.

3/9/09

2009-09-03T03:08:00.000-07:00

This day, is a holiday to my school, feeling tiring, worried, moody i guess, althought my problems to him had solved, but why am i feeling so so so.. so want to care about someone, someone who's always so comfortable to me, feelings, who will be care about? Everytime have tolerate so much, but all my effort are wasted, nobody needs me, who will? Even a best friends to me, tried to treat them good, go to waste, Hope to be stronger? How? I just wanted to help? End up, i find myself very annoyed to people? yeah i guess so. haaaa? funny right? who will need a person who just knows to talk only? who will need a person that just know to act clever? Slept at 5 something.. Why all these things keep awaking me? is it i'm so craving to love someone, so craving that wants people to care about me? so craving that wants people to know what am i thinking? why that i can easily understand people, am i really a complicated person? or just i'm living in my own world? Yeah, i do think that too. Actually for all these time, i'm just living alone in my world. Who will so willing to come in my world to accompany me? Who still can be my side when i need one? For 2 days, we haven't chat something properly. I really have to stop all these, all these stupid action, all these stupid acting, all these stupid things that would ruinned people's mood. Sometimes, is better to let it never been know will be alright to all people around. I will try to let go everything, start from the beginning, why people can live so happily? can i? Failure. This word suits me a lots. Who will want to be friends with a failure or even a bad person, a bad friend, a bad guy, a bad personality, a bad faker? One things i only realised, everything i do, every effort i put in to, all the best i can give, all will go to wasted. Let people think i'm annoyed, so hated, won't that be better? i guess too. She didn't did the wrong decision anyway, i'm the one who started all these? Although i heal everything, but one thing will never heal, my feelings, my heart, me!!! wont this be ridiculous? zzz, definitely it wont be. It suits me anyway. I always thought that someone had given me life of direction, but there will be no one there for me anyway. I had to live alone now, my phone will be slience, until miracle happens? lol, impossible. I hope to be numb, no feeling is the best. Moodless for 2 days already. Who knows? Things should put too much feelings in it, the person got the hurt most is yourself. I had learn my lesson, so anything i will just smile and put everything aside, do what am i suppose to do. What could exists in my life? Who is there to exists in my life? Since there will no people telling me that, so just let it be. Be the natural way. it will be better to those all people around me. This is the best i could to handle now. What more can i do???

To Someone =]

2009-09-01T07:48:00.000-07:00

Things could happen very badly and ugly, it is really simple and easy when we think simple and easy, it is true, like how he said to me, i also take it as a advise and a comment that he gave me, so simple. I know today you should be happy because you met someone who is always you want to meet, miss independent, miss full confidence, let me help you, if you need anyone, i'll here, wont go anywhere you know.. Dont keep those things to yourself what, i know all this is i started, to make you hard to make decisions, but is the best you won't regret after you did you that decision, feel comfortable for everything you have to do, i'm here to support you, to give you courage and strength. What can i do to help? Why am i not helping, but ruining it. Hope you made wise a decision, maybe my advise couldn't help much, or i'm talking nonsence, chong hei kid. Be confidence, i'll always be here. =) Hope one day she will call me in the midnight and tell me how she feels. How adorable isn't it? haaa...

1/9/09

2009-09-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

Finally i have the courage to face it,

hide is really not the solution,

no point to say sorry after what i had did.

Should appreciate those around me,

i really did a serious mistake,

never act too clever to your surrounding,

it will never heal.

You know i know.

29th August =] Gurnery..

2009-08-29T06:42:00.001-07:00

This day, today, wow.. i did enjoy the whole afternoon with wonderful friends, we chatted and chatted and laughed and chatted somemore about future plans, wow so many things till i cant hardly remember what they are. =) i know new friends today, Avienne ( if i'm not mistaken), knew more about Brenda, Sher-fyonn, Vivian, Sheng and Ash at Manilla place(kinda expensive place). And we ate there, to have my lunch and Sheng was heading to Penang bowl for some kind of installation i think. So as we walked awhile went to the Mega Que to play 20min of pool. Is already 3:25 then Da, Ash and I going for the movie named "Aliens in the Attic" quite nice anyway, the fighting between the nenny and Ricky, woooo.... damn funny, i kept laughing the whole part there, and one thing buy 2 sets of regular popcorns and drinks give a free 1.5L 100plus. hahaha. so worthed, but very weird if we holding everywhere there, so kind B gives me a plastic bag, thanks to her. Haaaaaa. The cinema were cold, maybe there was least people there, so it only will be so cold, all of us there freezing and shivering, coldddddddddddd !!!. After finished the movie, is about 5 something. We had nothing to do, so i decide to go to coffee bean to have a drink again, hahaha, is ashwin really a moody person? haha... not sure. I know him for quite a while, but i don't think so. Bought a ice blended, can't finished, so wasted.... pain from the heart, wasted rm12.60, shouldn't buy the hazelnut one, i felt dizzy on that drink. Hmm... and one more, at Coffee Bean was also a cold place, so we had a walk and chatted, then we sat down at the 4th floor at New Wing. B and i chatted a lot of stuff, and ash there sitting smsing, busy smsing, then there Avienne came, then Ash wasn't bored anymore. Good right? And we listened the song " shape of my heart" Nice, then we chatted a lot of V also. I keep perli her that V that V this. Haha.. Then Avienne and Ash went walk alone both, chatted and laughed i guess. He told me about it. And B and i went to talked too, then went to book store there, then we talked about what books we liked, and we also have the like of the same books, haha. Romance!!! Love!!! =) then is almost time to go back, her mother called, then i accompany her to buy her dinner, i was shocked that their dinner was just a slide of bread. Lol... eat more k B... hahaaahaaa. After that, is time to go home, sadness and hard feeling come, really don't want she to leaves. Want to chat with her more. Hahaaaa, she is just a so good to me. Awwww... She is a friend that gave me direction of life for now. =] Thanks to B. She bought a jacket and a shirt, she almost forgot to take back home, and going to give me. Hahaaa, i rushed to give her back. She was shocked. Hahaaa... Funny you B. =) Mother came then we had dinner at Pulau Tikus Market there, i was very full dont know why. Tired the whole day, feeling so exhausted now. Hope to enjoy like today, so good friends, so wonderful friends. I'm so glad. Thanks to my friends.

Cut new haircut just the first time post it up. How do it look? give comments ya

This is call busy smsing. Hmmm... Guessing who is she smsing?

Aww.. Brother =)

This drink made me very dizzy

This is also called busy smsing. Haha

Her bat gone dead, always one. haha

Dreaming, as she keeps telling me that. haaaaa

Guess what is she looking at? Or dreaminggggg?

Tickets to the cinema, should i keep it? haha

Too Little Too Late

2009-08-21T07:52:00.000-07:00

First time i met her,

i felt something new, something that gave me courage and strenght.

Gave me a target to live on, to go on what i should ans suppose to do.

Light up my life, Coloured my world, gave me hope and susprises.

Had a crush, maybe, a little,

but everything turn bad, and now it is already too late.

Because something happened.

I ruined myself, my own life, i think.

i'm sorry.

Now, everything is over, should i start again? or should i maintain?

Confused with everything happening now,

Family problems are more and more serious,

i really dont know how to recover all this.

For me now, i had no more feeling in anything around me, it is really sad.

Numb, black and white, feelingless.

I hope to stay on and be strong, cause i dont deserve anything i always want it.

Happy Sunday

2009-08-10T02:59:00.000-07:00

It was a day that i played and 1, but my team lost in the quarter finals, well everyone is already very tired and hungry, well it is already 2pm in the afternoon and we haven't had lunch. ><>shocked by her look, really like love in first sight, the feeling really strong, it is really hard to describe how was it.

Treat her at Manilla Place, not bad wat, ate for about 30 mins... hahaha. Called V, he went a shocked i think, it is really funny anyway, we chat a lot things, so much untill we forgot the time... slowly we went to mcd to see Yj and Hy, they really look like a couple, so close, still dont want to admit. LOL, dont know what to say them both.

After that, mummy has come, have to go home anyway... =)

Photos!!! =) hope they dont mind, haaaaaa..... =) :

Don't want finish first only talk on the phone =)

See phone with who huh? Vincent Low =)

Si Vain Kid =)

So cute =) Three plus two equals FIVE

I'm playin, thanks to HY =)

Yj playing

I almost win =)

Looking at Yj playin, when not Yj turns, she is lying on the table. So are they couple? =P

sorry huh HY. ><

Smsing who huh? Guessing.

Again looking at him play, his turn anyway.

So many happy things happen that day, wooooo...... hope to have fun with them again =) Happy friends... i'm happy to have them

New =)

2009-08-07T11:24:00.000-07:00

It starting so nice.

i hope these contiune

i hope that i have found what i was always looking for.

my best brother V

he is the best.

always want me to have the best things.

make it so perfect for me

make it so comfortable for me to be with.

awww...

ily and always.

ilovetheonewholovesmemost. =)

i want to be good to her, the best.

The new me =)

2009-08-07T08:27:00.000-07:00

Enjoying the new me =)